OPINION

One Nation: Ryan Messer fought the insurance company and won

Sharon Coolidge
scoolidge@enquirer.com
Ryan Messer (left) and Jimmy Musuraca-Messer look at an ultrasound photo of their son, Olivier, on February 5 at the Institute for Reproductive Health.

The Enquirer and the USA TODAY Network are hosting a 'One Nation' event Sept. 21 on  “American Rights.”  How have we exercised the rights we are guaranteed as Americans? Here is one story:

  • Name: Ryan Messer
  • Community: North Avondale
  • Age: 43
  • Occupation: Region Business Director – Cardiovascular & Metabolism, Johnson and Johnson. It employees 128,000 people.
  • About: Messer founded Believe in Cincinnati, the group that pushed to finish the streetcar. And he founded Future Leaders of OTR, a non-profit that provides life skills, mentoring and a study program to help teens become community leaders. He recently moved to North Avondale, where he and his husband, Jimmy Musuraca-Messer, are renovating the historic Marion Hall.

When I came out to my mom at 22, she accepted me right away. But she was worried people would be mean to me and was sad that I would never have children. I didn’t disagree with her then, but that was a long time ago.

Pretty early on in my relationship with Jimmy (Musuraca-Messer), in 2011, I knew I wanted to have kids with him. To me it was never a question of if, just when.

But I was nervous. Same-sex marriage wasn’t legal. My gay friends weren’t having kids. And the one couple I knew who used a surrogate had a bad experience. The surrogate, who was also the egg donor, sued for custody of the couple’s twins and won. They had to pay child support.

I thought, Oh my God, I can’t imagine that. That was 2006.

We thought about adopting, but there is something about having a chip off the old block. We had the desire to have a child. Besides, things started to change. The Human Rights Campaign was working to protect families. I found online egg donors can be anonymous.

We got married in 2013. Around the same time, one of my friend’s husbands had to go to Iraq for work, but they were going through IVF. He asked me to help his wife.

That’s how we found the Institute for Reproductive Health. I saw first-hand how it works and met Dr. (Michael) Schieber. We made our own appointment, but I didn’t tell them we were a male couple. We were so nervous. We didn’t know what to expect. But they were amazing to us. On the form it said, mom sign here and dad sign here. But they quickly changed it to ‘dad one’ and ‘dad two.’ They went above and beyond. There just weren’t that many same-sex couples doing this.

Ryan Messer (left) and Jimmy Musuraca-Messer look at an ultrasound photo of their son, Olivier, on February 5 at the Institute for Reproductive Health.

That was clear when we went to billing.

They asked, ‘How will you be paying? Up front?’I told them I work for Johnson and Johnson. I explained my friend had done this and it would be covered, but you could tell they were not convinced. I was ever the optimist, but not too soon after the claim was denied.

Johnson and Johnson was the employer; Aetna was the health insurance provider. And Aetna said no; there had to be a female involved and a diagnosis of infertility. Unfortunately we had neither. I saw an opportunity. I thought let’s work on changing the world a little bit. Let this baby be special. He could be conceived when the world was one way, and when he gets here, the world would be another way. I called human resources.

My initial conversation with J&J led to more conversation, which led to presentations to senior leadership.

We got pregnant. Olivier was born Sept. 10. All in all, it cost over $50,000.

In January I got a call that it was going to my company’s pension board for discussion. In change management, you have to start with awareness. I thought: If nothing else, I raised the issue.  My mom always says, “It’s like when somebody comes to church with a hot pink Mohawk. The first week everyone is all fired up, the second week they’re just glad they came back. I thought maybe next time it would get pushed through. It was one step to getting equal coverage.

By the beginning of this year we were talking about baby number two, but we knew if we made a decision and then if there was a change in the insurance later, we might not qualify.  The carrier wanted to go forward. We wanted to go forward. We needed to make a decision.

In February I was up in Toledo and I got a call from the head of global benefits worldwide. She said you changed our hearts and minds. Thank you for challenging us to think about our policy, making sure we are staying current. We’ll not only cover IVF, but also surrogacy.

She asked me how I felt. I said there was nothing left to ask for. I feel truly equal.

Messer and Musuraca-Messer’s daughter is due in December. In May, in a formal announcement, Johnson and Johnson announced it would extend fertility benefits to same-sex couples and include surrogacy coverage for all employees. Messer said even though they began the process before the announcement, insurance is covering the medical costs.

IF YOU GO

Tickets for One Nation are $7; $10.09 after fees. Please go to http://www.ticketmaster.com/event/160051129FEE251D.