Zoo incident highlights phenomenon of parent shaming

Immediately after Cincinnati Zoo & Botanical Garden personnel shot and killed a 17-year-old lowland gorilla on Saturday, social media exploded, focusing in part on the parents of the 3-year-old boy who fell into the gorilla enclosure.

Users on Twitter and Facebook questioned the responsibility of the parents, even speculating on their criminal history.

Some said the parents should be charged with child endangerment. Others said authorities should take custody of the family's children.

A handful of users said the parents should be shot and killed.

"It doesn't surprise me," said Littisha Bates, an assistant professor of sociology at University of Cincinnati. "It's really interesting to see people use social media to do something we've always been doing. But now, the reach is much wider and much less informed."

The social media firestorm following the death of Harambe on Saturday highlights the age-old phenomenon of parent-shaming, experts say. However, in today's age, and with an incident of this magnitude, that shaming can have long-lasting consequences that can jeopardize a family's livelihood and take an emotional toll.

"This shaming and these comments can have a real-world consequence for this family," Bates said. "And of course, there's going to be a social and emotional toll."

History of parent-shaming  

Parent shaming has existed for decades, Bates said. It's a control mechanism and a way to validate one's own parenting skills.

"We come up with rules that show what a good parent is," said Bates, who studies parenting and early childhood development. "Once one deviates away from those norms, one is labeled a bad parent."

In 1915, Nestle's released an ad encouraging parents to feed their babies Nestle's Food, according to a 2015 Slate article. If parents didn't, they risked exposing their babies to teething and health problems, the ad said.

In the 1950s, similar television ads encouraged parents to use formula.

In today's age, parents debate breast feeding versus formula, the length of maternity leave, the amount of screen time children should have, and whether to vaccinate children.

"Part of it is about control," Bates said. " Parents say, 'I'm a good parent because I do A, B and C.' We are increasingly becoming a society where there is no gray."

The accessibility, reach and anonymity of social media facilitates those conversations, often making them worse, Bates said. It also means non-celebrities can easily become the focus of public debate.

For example, in December, a British mother was labeled an "idiot" and "materialistic" after she posted a photo of her Christmas tree on Instagram. The photo, which showed the tree nearly obscured with presents, received nearly 2,500 comments.

"Social media is increasingly focusing on non-celebrities," Bates said. "Before, we had tabloids. Now, with social media, you don't have to be a celebrity to get people interested."

Effects of parent-shaming

When a parent is the subject of social media controversy, it can have detrimental effects on the family, Bates said.

Each case is different, Bates said. For example, in this case, police are investigating the circumstances that led the 3-year-old boy into the gorilla exhibit.

"This one is a bit tricky," she said. "It depends on if officials fall into the comments of social media users. It is quite possible that (the mother) could be charged with neglect."

Bates said the social media exposure could also jeopardize the family's income and livelihood. For example, anytime the mother or father applies for a job, a simple Google search will unveil the controversial zoo incident.

There will also likely be a social and emotional toll. "People are saying she is responsible for this gorilla's death," Bates explained.

Bates said the zoo incident likely won't affect the 3-year-old on an emotional level the same way it will his parents. However, with the lasting record of the internet, his name will always be tied to the incident.

"With social media, he won't be able to forget it," she said.

There's not much the family can do to protect themselves from the social media backlash. They released a statement, but it likely didn't change anyone's mind.

"She can tell her side of the story until she's blue in the face," Bates said. "The bystanders can tell their story. I don't think that will matter. It's a news cycle. You have to let it fade away."

EDITOR'S NOTE: This story has been updated to say the boy is 3 years old. Police said late Tuesday they had received "conflicting reports" on the boy's age but confirmed Tuesday that he is 3.